What You Should Know Before Starting Therapy, from a Trauma Therapist in Sacramento - Part Three

Welcome back to my third and final installment of this three-part series! I’m a trauma therapist in Sacramento and I created this series to help people understand what to expect from therapy so that they can begin treatment for trauma or other issues feeling more empowered and less overwhelmed.

In case you missed it, in Part One I explained what therapy is and isn’t (spoiler alert: It’s not just venting!) and described therapists’ different styles and the factors that contribute to success in therapy.

In Part Two, I went over frequency of sessions and length of treatment, and gave an overview of the whole arc of therapy from start to finish.

Today I’m sharing how I collaborate with clients and tailor therapy to suit their unique needs and way of operating, and illustrate what a typical session with me might look like.

We collaborate on everything.

My clients and I are collaborators. We decide on everything together—the goal for therapy, the agenda for the session, the homework.

Agency, choice, and empowerment and some of my most highly held values, in and out of therapy.

In trauma, generally, choice was taken away. So restoring a sense of agency and personal power is healing.

I try to ask for my client’s consent before proceeding, in everything we do. I check in and ask if it’s ok for us to explore a certain topic, or engage in a certain exercise or practice.

Everything is an invitation and you’re welcome (and encouraged!) to say “no” if that’s what feels authentic for you in the moment.

I won’t pressure you. I don’t want to be an authority figure over you.

Part of my work in decolonizing therapy is that I see us as equals. Yes, I hold the space and I offer guidance, but I want to share power with you, not have power over you.

We go at your pace.

Healing happens at the speed of trust. In the trauma therapy there’s a saying, “Go slow to go fast.”

If you feel hesitant, we’ll err on the side of not yet, to maintain safety. Over time, as you reconnect with yourself, it’ll become clearer when to pull back and when to push outside of your comfort zone.

Check out this clip from Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Sarah Baldwin for more on why pushing faster than our nervous system is ready to go actually sets us back in the healing process.

I’ll learn to speak your language.

One of the things I love about my work is seeing how everyone’s system is different.

By “system” I mean your mind, your heart, your body. How your emotions work. Your inner ecosystem and how it all works together. The emotional language you speak.

Some people’s systems are more somatic. They’re easily able to identify physical sensations and sometimes it feels more natural to them to express themselves through movement or sound, rather than words. I find this true for a lot of my neurodivergent clients.

Some people’s systems are more image-based and pictures pop into their mind that are often a metaphor for their experience.

Some people hear an inner voice say things to them.

Your system can communicate through any of your senses and rather than forcing a certain avenue of expression, we go with whatever comes naturally to you.

(You may be seeing a theme here—There’s no forcing in the way that I work.)

This is another way I adapt therapy to each client for a tailored approach.

What a Typical Session with Me Looks Like

Now I’d like to give you an idea of what a typical session with me looks like, after we’ve gotten past the first few get-to-know-you sessions and into the meat of therapy:

You’ll come into my office and I’ll offer you some water. We’ll take a moment for you to arrive and get grounded. Some people like to take a few deep breaths. If you want, I can also lead you through a brief guided meditation.

It’s important to let go of the energy you were carrying coming into session (maybe you were feeling stressed from driving in traffic or ruminating over an email your boss just sent you) and get present.

I’ll check in with you and ask how you’re doing. This is less about what has been happening in your life since we last met (although there’ll be space to talk about that if it feels useful) and more about how you’re feeling emotionally. For a lot of folks, this might be the first time they’ve checked in with their emotions all day.

Next we’ll set a loose agenda for the session. I’m flexible and this can always change as needed as the session progresses. You’ll decide what you’d like to focus on today. It might be revisiting an issue we touched on last time, or it may be something new.

A therapy session has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes I use the analogy that it’s like a workout—there’s a warm up, the workout, and a cool down.

Some people don’t need the warm up and feel ready to jump straight into doing a piece of work. Others like to share some life updates with me before we do something experiential. Either way works for me. A lot of my clients have fallen into a rhythm where we might spend the first 15 minutes or so of the session talking, then the last 30 minutes doing a piece of work.

When I say a “piece of work,” I’m referring to an experiential exercise. Some kind of practice or activity. This is typically using a combination of somatic techniques and Parts work, whatever works best for the client.

And this is where the magic happens. I’ll ask you to turn inward and observe yourself, and we work with whatever sensations, emotions, images, impulses, memories, etc. arise. We work improvisationally and your system shows us, step by step, where to go next.

I LOVE working in this way. I’m not exaggerating when I say that people’s systems are genius.

Spontaneously, in the moment, they come up with ways to heal through movement and imagination. Things I couldn’t possibly have thought up, no matter how hard I tried. Your body and heart knows its own best medicine, whether you’re aware of it or not.

I’ve had clients tell me that somatic therapy is like magic and say, “You’re a witch!” This puts a smile on my face.

I have honed my skills over the years. But also, all I have to do is hold the space and follow what arises. I give guidance when needed, but it’s primarily your system that’ll show the way.

I truly believe that we all have a natural capacity for emotional healing, just like we do for physical healing.

Think about it—When you get a cut, your body will heal itself and grow your skin back together within a few days. All you have to do is provide it with the right conditions (sleep, nutrition, keeping the wound clean). And so with your psyche. If given the right conditions, the hole in your heart will mend.

I really love my work. I’m so honored that my clients share their vulnerability and their inner worlds with me.

Every day, I get to time travel into people’s traumatic childhood memories with them and witness them creating a new, alternate ending in which they get the support they needed but didn’t have in the past. This feels so rewarding to me and my own inner child.

After doing this work, many clients report that the memories no longer carry the same level of emotional “charge” that they used to. Meaning they still feel emotion around it, but less intensely. Something might still feel sad, or disappointing, or frustrating, but no longer triggering. What was a 10 on a 1-10 scale of intensity might become a 3. This is neuroplasticity in action!

As we’re doing the work, I’m periodically checking the clock and making sure we have sufficient time to bring the experience to a proper close, and to talk about how it was for you and what might be lingering.

I ask clients for feedback at the end of sessions about how the session was for them and if there’s anything we can do next time to make it better. Please be vocal here! This is how I tailor therapy to be most effective for you.

The pacing of a session is important. I don’t want you leaving my office feeling like a raw nerve and then having to go right back to work or to pick up your kids after that. I try my best to provide a sense of containment before you leave, and we can do grounding or soothing exercises to help regulate your emotions. I tell clients, “I’m not going to cut you open if we don’t have time to sew you back up.”

The last part of the session (our cool down) is the time to wrap things up and bring the work we’ve done to a close, but not the time to bring up any new material. If there’s something we didn’t get to address that feels important, I’ll make a note for us to pick back up with that next week.

45-minute sessions work well for most people and are generally enough time to address an issue. (The experiential work is surprisingly efficient.) However, depending on your particular needs, longer (60-minute) sessions are a possibility.

Experience the Magic of Experiential Therapy
with a Trauma Therapist in Sacramento

If you’ve read this far, you should now have an understanding of what to expect from my unique style of trauma therapy. I’ve given you a taste as best I can, but nothing compares to experiencing it for yourself!

You might be new to therapy and ready to move from a self-help approach to more support. Or you may have been in therapy before and are curious about what the experiential modalities of somatics and Parts work/IFS (Internal Family Systems) can do for you, compared to just talking.

If anything I’ve written here has resonated with you and you’re local to the Sacramento area, please don’t hesitate to book a free 15-minute consultation call with me. We can discuss what want to get out of therapy and whether it feels like a fit, with no pressure or obligation. Reach out to me today.